Waiting Casually

Here’s a story with a moral in it somewhere, but it’s Monday, I’m drowsy, and I’m typing this at work, so that should tell you something.

Anyway, this is a story about butt dust. Or toilet ash. Or something. Anyway, my company has occupied its current building for a little over two years now, so needless to say I’ve had some opportunities to use the facilities here a few times. And in the use of said facilities, I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon that had me puzzled until just a few moments ago.

On one particular toilet, I’ve occasionally noticed what appear to be little dust or ash motes on the seat. Not a lot. Just a few. Each little mote about the size of a pin head and there might be 10-15 of these little guys on the seat (I call them guys because they are in the men’s bathroom after all). When I first saw them I didn’t know what to make of them. I mean, what is one to think upon seeing this on the seat? I just got some toilet paper and wiped them off before I used the toilet.

I wish I remember what I thought the second time though. Like, ‘Whoah. That wasn’t a one-time occurrence. Some dude’s butt is chronically dusty enough to deposit yet more dust/ash/whatever on this seat,’ probably isn’t too far off. That’s a disturbing thought, too. On a scale of 1-10 of disturbance, the first time was probably a 1. Like, ‘Hrm.’ The second though probably skipped right on up to level 4: ‘Ew, gross. C’mon.’

And that’s what I thought. Someone with dusty butt worked in my office. That was the only explanation right? It wasn’t always there, obviously because Mr. Ashy Butt and I weren’t on the same schedule or someone had used the toilet and wiped it off before I used the toilet or he didn’t go at work that day. Of course. What else could it be?

And so over the past two years, I probably encountered the butt dust a dozen or so times, with my disturbance level waxing and waning depending on the frequency with which I saw it or my mood of the day. And my reality was that there was a gentlemen coworker on my floor with serious hygiene issues.

Until today.

Today my reality changed.

As I said at the start, I haven’t been in the best mood today, and so that’s likely why when greeted by butt dust again on the seat of the toilet I was going to use, my disturbance level peaked and I threw back my head and uttered an ‘Oh god,’ at the ceiling, my eyes rolling upward.

To the air conditioning vent.

With a dusty grille.

Right above the toilet.

‘Oh,’ I said.

And so on this day, June 8th, 2009, the mystery of Mr. Dusty Butt was solved. Mark your calendars.

What’s the moral? You tell me. There’s more than enough there for a changing perspectives one, or a not making assumptions one, or whatever.

Sir,

It’s been my pleasure to work with you for the past four years. I’ve found you to be honest and well-meaning, committed to helping your various teams improve, and tenacious in your assessment of peoples’ work. You were never overly-harsh, but your astute observations kept those who worked for you honest about their progress and accomplishments. This created an atmosphere of integrity that I valued a great deal.

This integrity point was likely the first characteristic I noticed about you. I was quite low on the totem pole when I first worked with you in the fall of 2005 and you were new to the company so perhaps I thought that was why you treated even me with respect, but you proved consistent in that regard through the years I’ve now known you. I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s safe to say that there are many of us here in the office who would follow you into the breach because of how you’ve inspired us with your honest and measured leadership. The Mrs. and I followed you across the country to work with you in the new office, so maybe I’m just biased.

The past three years working closely with you have taught me how to be a better leader as I took many of my cues from you. Not to say that you’re perfect or that we never disagreed or that your choices never disappointed me, but we both learned from our mistakes and you encouraged that process. I feel like my considertaion of organizational or functional changes is much more measured and less dismissive than it was previously. I’m a big ‘J’ in Myers-Briggs speak and a high D/C in my DiSC profile, so my default tendencies are to make snap decisions and operate more or less unwaveringly along the lines of those decisions. You taught me to reserve judgment until I actually needed to make one and to ask direct questions as a way to encourage well-rounded ideas. Thank you for that.

You will be missed a great deal. Probably more than you think even. You are the face of this office for all of the employees here, whose names you know by heart, for their families, and for the larger community. You’ve pioneered community outreach at this company and taught the higher-ups about its importance. You’ve been a mentor to me and to many others.

So. Although I am personally saddened that you are leaving and I’m worried about how the leadership team here will evolve without you, I’m also trying my best to be excited for you. I know it’s a great opportunity for you to grow your career and your talents. They’re lucky to have you and we are losing one of our best. I hope to contribute in some small way to filling the very large gap you will leave behind.

The very best of luck,

Me