When I say ‘men,’ I really do mean men by the way. The Y chromosome types. Well, but that hits right at what I’m getting at doesn’t it? I had this big exposition planned and everything, but I seem to have written something that skips all of it and now I can’t go back. Anyhoooo… It’s hard to look at the male youths of today and wonder a bit about that Y chromosome business. They all seem like such namby-pambies.

I’m not the only one who’s noticed this apparently, as a recent trend I’ve noted in male-focused lidderchur is the rumination on the fate of the manly man and the lament of the rise of the douchebag. And hey, it’s right up my alley. Because I found the rise of the douchebag funny at first! I saw shit like this and laughed heartily. But then I saw more and more douchebaggery (TM fucking pending on that nugget of awesome) out there and I wasn’t laughing so much any more. Men wearing skinny jeans with thin, white, women’s belts, or wearing plunging American Apparel v-necks, or over-tanning, or doing all of the above no longer warranted ostracism from any group, but instead garnerred compliments! What madness was this?

So we semi- and legitimately old guys started wondering what this all meant for men. Some wistfully yearned  for a return to manlier, tough son-of-a-bitch times, while others tried to etch their guidelines for future generations in stone. Or at least HTML. Me, I’d just be satisfied if I thought anyone under the age of 23 looked like they could beat me up in a fight. And I consider myself a wuss! But these guys? Even the ones who are all toned and buff look like little prisses. it’s like they spent all that time in the gym just so they’ll look good in their Zoolander poses. I’ve never been in a fight in my life but I think I could take ‘em.

But why are we so concerned with the douchebag generation? And maybe a better question: does our concern and desire to put an end to their effeminate ways only contribute to their continuance, part of the normal ebb and flow of themes repeated as children rebel against their parents? What will the next generation look like with this much focus on them, or is this the same amount of attention every past generation puts on the next? Is there hope to convince our young men of their ridiculousness or should we give up and go back to chuckling at them privately?

Not skinny jeans should ever be a laughing matter.

Talk about agnotology at its finest.

Now, I’m all for believing in scientific advances and would not be surprised that at some point in the future we devise some fairy tale-esque way to harness natural matter/natural energy and cleanly convert it into usable, gridded energy. But until such advances occur, we’re left with the reality of our current gridded systems.

Like coal power. Which is not clean. Ever–due to the fact that no matter how much emissions are capped, the process to obtain coal is intensely destructive to the environment surrounding the mine. Oh, and to the emissions created with the transport of all that coal. Oh, and to the fact that all of that carbon captured in the ‘clean coal’ process is going to go… where? again? Clean. coal.

Let’s see if I can make an equally positive view for various activities with as little as some creative word pairings:

• rollicking rape
• cute kidnapping
• happy homicide

Suuuure it was a kidnapping, but it was so cute! And happy homicide? I almost want to sign up for one of those…

Thankfully, those in the know are trying to get the word out.

Check out this anti-clean coal PSA from the brothers Coen:

Let’s hope the catchiness of This is Reality and others can match the <80 IQ simplicity of ‘Clean Coal’ and our politicians stop buying it. I don’t have much hope, but then. It is the era of hope is it not?